I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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