Nicole vs. Life
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
