Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
