Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
