I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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