I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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