I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
