i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
