Yo dont text me then not text me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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