Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
