eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
