I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
