in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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