it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
