We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
