Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
