There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
