I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
