Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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