I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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