Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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