You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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