i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
