That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
