My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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