i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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