one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
