i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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