If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
