I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
