I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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