I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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