Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
