I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
