Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
