some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
