Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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