Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
