I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
