Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
