Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
