you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
