WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
