so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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