Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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