she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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