hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
