you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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