You really coming over, don't trick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
