"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
